tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46904525912452592882024-02-07T06:22:18.675+00:00Cat Woman's Life RebuildMerry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-10814356910910261992015-07-21T14:41:00.001+01:002015-07-21T14:41:47.350+01:00Yay!!!!As of today I am now an endorsed reader with TABI.<br />
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How did this happen....from lay reader to Tarot reader in not quite five easy stages (in fact far from five easy stages).<br />
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The strangeness and richness of life. I am indeed fortunate.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-41135674667999522602015-06-19T13:34:00.001+01:002015-06-19T13:34:49.968+01:00And some more progress...Just shows what a bit of obsessive stitching can achieve.....housework? What housework...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-29849752101961469042015-04-07T20:21:00.001+01:002015-04-07T20:23:17.411+01:00More progressMore progress...started in about January 2013:<br />
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After getting my finger out and working on her over the past couple of months:<br />
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<br />Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-27969162938187820032015-04-07T20:06:00.001+01:002015-04-07T20:06:04.180+01:00ProgressSo, here we are. It's Spring 2015 and life's moved on somewhat since my last post (ha ha, one would hope it had, really). Hmmm. 2013 was an auspicious year, the one where I spent the whole year celebrating my half-century - went to Prague and danced blackfaced Border Morris in swelteringly hot temperatures in a dance festival where we Brits stood out as a ragged, yelling beacon of insanity among various decorous Bavarian teams. Prague was beautiful and I would love to go again, if only it didn't involve going on a plane. I bought an embroidery machine and have had many a happy hour creating Stuff. The bathroom finally got tiled and finished. It may also have been the year that the kitchen was finished including a lovely Green Man tile over the cooker. Or it may not, and 2012/13 have just merged into each other. I seem to remember 2012 was the year I learned Tarot with Maggie in Stafford, where one of the women on the course and I kept on drawing the 8 of Swords. Every time, without fail. I don't draw it now...<br />
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And - drum roll - the event I never imagined, the event I had long given up on - Dave moved in, and even more amazingly, stayed. Nuff said.<br />
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2014 was the year that we got used to each others' endearing little quirks and cleared some air in the process. Quite a lot of air, really, but that's over and done and we are I think the stronger for it. Furniture also arrived (and a piece left, goodbye Court Cupboard) and we now have a huge bookcase full of Crowley. The irony. Church ministry has become a thing of the past, which is sad in some ways but better in others as I now realised how stuck in a box I was.<br />
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2015 has got off to a good start. Trips to Boscastle and Robin Hood's Bay in March, shows booked later in the year, we might even get the tent out at some point! The garden's looking better each year. Life is good.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-85139205915223176362012-06-26T21:11:00.001+01:002012-06-26T21:11:05.370+01:00GEORGE MICHAEL-FREE<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_nmtI04h-R8?fs=1" width="459"></iframe>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-25735372742837539352012-04-22T17:26:00.001+01:002012-04-22T17:26:48.715+01:00<img src="http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/318692_285323711508041_243347452372334_855724_1818470249_n.jpg" />Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-73699612347993330942012-04-04T11:51:00.000+01:002012-04-04T11:51:22.959+01:00"I'm An Alien In The Potteries Centre"....<div>This morning I had cause to go to somewhere I normally avoid like the plague....the “shopping mall”. At 9am it was pretty well deserted; a lot of the shops hadn’t even opened. Others were closed terminally. The one shop I wanted wasn’t open yet so I had a five minute walk around.</div><div><br />
</div><div> </div><div>I felt very uncomfortable. The shops are the generic ones you find at any shopping centre up and down the country...Primark, Samuels, WH Smiths, etc. I dawdled along, little and fat in my long, shabby green skirt, sensible walking jacket and flat boots, and looked at the window displays of unsupportive scratchy underwear, synthetic knockout perfumes, platform high heeled shoes (always make my back twinge to look at ‘em!) and cheaply-made young-style dresses. I felt like an alien. None of this stuff was aimed at me. I had an overwhelming sense of being completely and totally out of place.</div><div><br />
</div><div> </div><div>Not that I mind. I don’t. Those places sum up everything about modern life that I hate...the sameness, the one-dimensional marketing, the horrible grabbing materialistic atmosphere. I’m relieved that I did feel out of place!</div><div><br />
</div><div> </div><div>I got what I went for, and came back home gasping for my first cup of tea of the day (hey, how dedicated was that; out before having even had a cuppa?) and when I drew up in my drive I saw the early shoots of Lily of the Valley welcoming me. </div><div>Blessed normality.</div><div><br />
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</div><div>Took these photos a couple of weeks ago. Now, this is where I feel at home. </div><div><br />
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</div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-10400890595692154662012-03-05T09:22:00.000+00:002012-03-05T09:22:51.723+00:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/fSqoVIC5HQM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-74082638130042806202012-03-04T11:13:00.000+00:002012-03-04T11:13:27.638+00:00LegaciesSomething I've come across as part of my Tarot studies - the significance of seemingly inanimate objects, handed down. I constantly wear three items of jewellery, two of them given as (new) gifts and the other, a treasured item given to me to wear. Two of them are leather wristbands, one new and the other worn and loved by the giver. The other is a beautiful Celtic Pentagram which I wear on a thin bootlace, given by a dear and great friend. Another item I wear, somewhat less consistently because of its size, is a cross made from three horseshoe nails which Kent bought me when I was about 17 or 18. I lost it once in a countryside courting spot, and was lucky enough to find it again some months later! It's been with me for thirty years now and I treasure it as well.<br />
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I think of these things because yesterday, I was given an old and well-loved knitting bag, along with a lovely wooden box of needles, all different sizes and obviously well-used. Well, I know they're well used because I know how prolific a knitter the owner used to be! She has had to give up knitting due to lack of time with caring for her husband, and her changing eyesight.<br />
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I felt tearful as she gave me the bag, and honoured to be handed down something which has given her so much enjoyment in a long life. I will treasure the gift as tools of a craft handed from one needlewoman to another, and use them with love and thanks.<br />
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So, thank you, Joyce - here's to friendship!<br />
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xxxMerry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-49872093735479238782012-03-01T08:19:00.000+00:002012-03-01T08:19:11.315+00:00Another year goes aroundHere we are again, on 1st March, and it's a Thursday too, just as it was five years ago. I think it's taken this long to reach acceptance.<br />
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Cheers, Kent. I don't need anniversaries to think of you - you are always with me.<br />
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Exam this afternoon too - hope it goes well and I don't make any stupid mistakes!Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-14147892086954309462011-11-11T13:23:00.000+00:002011-11-11T13:23:42.680+00:00Urgh! Life is too short to fart around.<div>I’m just getting over a bout of what was, apparently, vertigo. Most unpleasant. The most frightening thing was the feeling of vulnerability and isolation and the knowledge that I was alone with three little critters depending on me for their basic needs (ie, food). I have to say that I felt better for two valued friends who I was able to call on. Liz, for your reassuring nursing voice telling me what the likely cause was (you were right) and the knowledge that you were there ready to get help if it were needed. And Dave for coming straight down despite our break-up and his own difficulties. I am humbly grateful. So although I was still feeling ghastly, I then didn’t feel so alone.</div><br />
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<div>Being forced to take time off work and being relatively unable to rush around like normal, getting Stuff done, has given me time to take stock. Being so ill so unexpectedly has come as a wake-up call too. Vertigo can be, I find after a quick Google search, brought on by stress and depression. Of course I have no way of knowing what the cause was, so I'm not automatically stating stress as a cause. Just a possibility.</div><br />
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<div>I have undoubtedly felt a return of the depression over the past weeks, unsurprisingly. I have felt powerless in the face of opposition, whether from Dave himself or his wife I have no way of knowing, but I have felt invalidated, a nuisance, unwanted, no longer needed. I realise that some of my own actions have had a large part to play here, they were the result of pain and hurt and frustration, which isn’t to excuse them. But it wasn’t all my doing. My own instinct for justice kicks in very easily and I will not be misrepresented, I have to have the chance to put the record straight, as I see it. I have allowed myself to be misused and have allowed others to do so. That was my failing.</div><br />
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<div>I have gone into work every day holding my own personal grief to myself, because I have too much pride and misplaced self-respect to burden myself onto my work colleagues. Facing each day has been an effort; in fact, I haven’t wanted to face the day because I have not wanted to face the reality of where I am. I have questions with no answers. Questions that go round and round because they have no place to be shelved. I have been blessed with two angels who have listened without criticism, or interference, or unwanted advice. They have just listened, understood, and loved unconditionally.</div><br />
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<div>Another ending which I didn’t want to have to face, but I have done. I have played too passive a role in my own life over the years...I have allowed others to make my decisions for me, to shape my life for me and to give impulse to my actions. Now it is down to me to take control over the rest of my life and to steer its course in the direction I want it to go in.</div><br />
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<div>Something that I think holds many of us back is fear. In my case the fear has been that of losing....losing Kent, losing Dave, losing control. Being alone. I have lived in fear of ending up alone...but guess what? I DO live alone! How ridiculous is that? I waste countless hours worrying about what might happen, when the reality is that each day comes and goes with its own particular issues, and I am still ok. So what is there to fear, really? I am already facing that fear, without even realising it.</div><br />
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<div>My biggest fault has been that of concentrating too much on the wrong areas. Spending hours worrying about what another person is or isn’t doing. Worrying about what is going on behind my back. Worrying about whether or not I am being lied to. Where someone else spends the night. What he thinks of other people...and so on, and so on, and so on. How does any of this worry benefit me? Worrying about things I cannot change. Instead of thinking about things I can influence, that I can do, that are within my grasp. Missing out on opportunities because I have been too preoccupied with stuff that really, doesn’t matter. I have so much, and yet I long for what I cannot have.</div><br />
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<div>Time to stop worrying, to leave the past behind, and to really start living. Because with every day that passes, there is one day less to be lived.</div><br />
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<div>xxx</div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-50848509767301857532011-11-03T20:01:00.001+00:002011-11-13T18:30:07.646+00:00New comforts!My cup runneth over....not only do I have a new floor in the living room, [polishes nails against jumper in nonchalant manner], I also have a settee and chair, care of two lovely people I met via Dave (ok, his mum and dad). Hoping they'll come down and have a look - their furniture does look great in here and I am really grateful to them for their kindness and generosity. <br />
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I am lucky. And blessed.<br />
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XXX<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4prbhTbuI-gG1bJ4mDw6JxhyYi4J9Ey3TJ1HadkDj-2Nz4Nx1a1Iutv7wUMz6yt_b52dZgVGj6CZfYpzXFi-DxAl0TFR-cz0ikULKhBkdgFMhZcnMbH2WuQ04dzxKmXD7EIOZ6FfLi4/s1600/PB130100.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4prbhTbuI-gG1bJ4mDw6JxhyYi4J9Ey3TJ1HadkDj-2Nz4Nx1a1Iutv7wUMz6yt_b52dZgVGj6CZfYpzXFi-DxAl0TFR-cz0ikULKhBkdgFMhZcnMbH2WuQ04dzxKmXD7EIOZ6FfLi4/s320/PB130100.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-22123810799426657942011-11-03T19:54:00.000+00:002011-11-03T19:54:13.803+00:001st November(Posting this after the event - my laptop has been in for repair until I thankfully had it back earlier this afternoon)<br />
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All Saints Day. Here I am at 9am, enjoying a leisurely breakfast, having sliced a load of cheap oranges which are now drying slowly in the oven, for Yule wreaths and decorations. The sun is now shining, there are still roses blooming outside, and thanks to John yesterday I now have a nice patch of bare, dug and raked soil. The cats and dog are happy, their world is good as far as I can tell; I am feeling good for having an early start to the day, and Radio 3 played Bach's violin concerto in A just for me (well, it seemed that way); the sofa and chair are being delivered on Thursday....it feels like things are coming together. <br />
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Learned this morning of another person who has lost a loved one...a reminder if it were needed, that it's important to cherish each day, to make the most of every moment. I admit I'm the world's worst at this, with my tendency to sink into melancholy and demotivation, but I sometimes remind myself that each day really is a gift. <br />
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Hugs and comfort to everyone grieving today....we don't forget our loved ones, they live on in our hearts and our memories. <br />
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Blessings. <br />
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XXX<br />
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Postscript: today my boss told us about her friend's daughter, who has died suddenly aged just 17, five months pregnant....then later on In Tune, pianist Marcelo Bratke described his successful eye operation at the age of 44; previous to that, he only had 7% vision in his good eye. He described the wonder of something so mundane as a plastic cup of water. Both these things reminded me of being grateful for the good things in life, however small. <br />
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Great friendships are somewhat larger!!! - love and thanks to Liz and Lizzie. You know what for. <br />
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XXXXXXXXXMerry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-43319250498852702102011-10-23T09:59:00.000+01:002011-10-23T09:59:35.558+01:00New life!<div>Sunday morning and I am sitting down for a moment to update my blog, while watching a pile of stuff smouldering away in the garden. It's an autumnal morning, not particularly cold, grey sky with blue bits peeping through. Pip the dog is on the bed, as always, the cats are outside investigating.</div><br />
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<div>This past week has seen my gorgeous new floor being laid in the living room <a href="http://www.fabulous-flooring.co.uk/buyflooring/tuscan-elite-toffee-brushed.aspx" title="http://www.fabulous-flooring.co.uk/buyflooring/tuscan-elite-toffee-brushed.aspx">http://www.fabulous-flooring.co.uk/buyflooring/tuscan-elite-toffee-brushed.aspx</a> I’ve also had new skirting boards and architrave, stained to match, and the door has been rehung so it fits better. I’ve lived with old damaged and filthy floor boards for over a year now, so to finally get to this stage feels really good. I love it. The floor was fitted by the lovely man who did the kitchen, windows and French doors, and again he’s done a lovely job. Anyone in the Potteries area could do worse than contact Mick Barr, Joiner – thoroughly recommended. Being able to trust someone with your house keys and just letting them get on with it means a great deal.</div><br />
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<div>Yesterday Dave and I replaced the furniture which we had giggled over removing the weekend previously. Dave insisted on getting the dusters and gunky furniture polish and giving everything a damn good cleaning (which it badly needed). I did the table, so I wasn’t entirely idle....</div><br />
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<div>Although we put most things back in their original places, we moved some things, left one item out (it’s now in my bedroom), and the whole room looks so much better. I’m just waiting for my sofa and chair now, but have a sunlounger for the time being. It just feels so much more like the home I wanted, and not just a random collection of Old Charm items bought mainly off eBay. The table has now gravitated to the back end of the room, in front of the French doors, and I think that’s where it will stay, because the view over the garden will eventually be rather splendid....House Beautiful, eat yer heart out. </div><br />
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<div>I’m spending today putting my books and CD’s in place and cleaning stuff up as I go. But first, a badly-needed cup of tea – it’s nearly ten o’clock and I haven’t had my first yet!!!</div><br />
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<div>I dunno.....somehow, it doesn’t just feel like a new floor, it feels like the beginning of a new life. Burning the rubbish just now, even though it was only cardboard packing and other bits and pieces, felt symbolic. Out with the old, and in with the new.</div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-86131874709172499642011-10-21T16:27:00.000+01:002011-10-21T16:27:21.893+01:00StuffSaw this today and thought it was apt:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHMIKYYtnW5VT_33-nWksnNMYYslqAlmSs2-px8ENTncUOo7oSmcWa7bLg5e7ZOsTKEmEt-xNwWnGvJxzjLhx_XETlL5L-fJY3QasAfFqmKxxOm7MBbpRygacmJ2T2PA1WVJKkmbCeqLo/s1600/312202_188974127847273_135612266516793_361702_289209187_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHMIKYYtnW5VT_33-nWksnNMYYslqAlmSs2-px8ENTncUOo7oSmcWa7bLg5e7ZOsTKEmEt-xNwWnGvJxzjLhx_XETlL5L-fJY3QasAfFqmKxxOm7MBbpRygacmJ2T2PA1WVJKkmbCeqLo/s1600/312202_188974127847273_135612266516793_361702_289209187_n.jpg" /></a></div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-13371415754071567232011-10-17T20:15:00.002+01:002011-11-03T16:35:32.950+00:00This weekend (just gone)The weekend flew by - today is my Mum's birthday, so on Saturday we ventured to the Smoke on the train, to see the Degas exhibition at the Royal Academy. I can totally recommend this - even as a non-lover of Impressionist painters, I was well impressed. Even familiar paintings over-used on greetings cards and other various kinds of twee ephemera, looked fresh and new in the flesh. Or the oils and pastels and gouache, to be pedantic.<br />
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I have often wondered what the Victorian ballet was like....and I realised on Saturday that it was as athletic as today. The dancers weren't as lithe and skeletal as they tend to be now, but they were still slim and muscular and well-trained, with the same aim for perfect turn-out and accurate positioning of the body. <br />
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There were also plenty of Degas' photographs, one in particular which I found absolutely stunning, and which we went back to have another look at.<br />
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If you have the chance to go, do so. It's a treat.<br />
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The rest of the day was great; meal then train home later in the day. I was so tired I saw to the furry team and then collapsed in bed.<br />
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(no change there then)<br />
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Sunday saw Dave and I lugging heavy furniture into the hall (and elsewhere) in readiness for the new floor which is now being laid in the living room. Having engineered wood flooring (like laminate but the top layer is real wood). So far it looks great and I'm really pleased. We had a lovely day yesterday too; went for some nosh later in the day (much needed) and then a nosey round Brereton and Kidsgrove.<br />
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Want to say a huge Thank You to Dave who, true to form and despite our own personal difficulties, went the extra mile to help me because he knew I needed it. I am grateful.<br />
I am blessed. I have some truly great friends. And life's good!<br />
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The week continues......Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-71669983888495704262011-10-01T14:34:00.000+01:002011-10-01T14:34:07.211+01:00Misty Mountain Curry<div>You can, actually, make this with any veg you have to hand, but as I had picked up a reduced-price green spiky cauliflower from Morrisons the other day, (hence the name) and had some spuds in the cupboard threatening to sprout, I used those.</div><br />
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<div>Fry an onion in oil (or butter...) and then add some garlic, and a decent dollop of your favourite Patak’s* paste. I used a scoop of brinjal pickle, a teaspoon of tikka paste, and a lump of Rogan Josh paste (simply because they were the only ones in the fridge). If you want to extend the Ring aspect of this dish, add chilli to taste....mmm, explosive! Add water to the mix, along with the cauliflower and potatoes, which should be cut into uniformly sized pieces so they cook through in about the same time.</div><br />
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<div>Pour this little lot into a round based balti dish, so that you have the potatoes and the base of the spiky cauliflower pieces sitting in the curry sauce, but also leaving the spikes above the surface (as these will take a lot less cooking). Now do you see the mountainous quality? </div><br />
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<div>Cover the dish – if using foil, make sure that it doesn’t come into contact with the food, as curry and foil do not, I have found, make the best of companions. Bung it in the oven and wait until it’s done. Having first made sure that the oven is on.</div><br />
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<div>I’ll be serving mine with my rather fabulous pillau rice, which I have to say I’m rather proud of. </div><br />
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<div>I haven’t bothered to clean the frying pan as there is only a curryish residue in it. Add oil, then fry another onion and some garlic, then add turmeric (I like a lot of this for colouring), cumin to taste, ginger if you’ve got any, paprika ditto, a bit of salt (about the only time I ever use salt in cooking), and black pepper. And any other spices you might like to use. </div><br />
<div>Then stir in cashews and basmati rice. </div><br />
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<div>I will also be frying leeks with my onion because I’ve got one that needs using. This is also good made with fried up mushrooms, but I forgot to buy them when out shopping. Never mind.</div><br />
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<div>Once the rice is in, add water to only just cover the rice and then – tada!! – the essential ingredient, a good scattering of fenugreek leaves. I like to add loads but be warned, it IS very strongly flavoured. </div><br />
<div>Bring it quickly to the boil then put the lid on the pan and turn the heat right down. And LEAVE IT ALONE. It won’t stick, and if it does look like it needs a bit of water, you can always add some more. Hot out of the kettle is better to keep the temperature up. Doesn’t take long, about ten minutes, but if you don’t need it right at this minute you can either leave it in the pan, or decant it into an oven proof dish, cover and keep warm in the oven.</div><br />
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<div>I can quite honestly say this is yum, but then I do like a good curry. Sorry there aren’t any weights and measures – I don’t bother with any of that nonsense, just pile in and get on with it. </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>*Other curry pastes are of course available, but I think Patak's are about the best. Avoid Sharwood's like the plague....unless you know different....</div><div> </div><div> </div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-6468582617015324302011-10-01T08:25:00.000+01:002011-10-01T08:25:50.009+01:00Last summer day?Yes, I know, it's October today, but already it's warm, there's a clear blue sky and birdsong outside my living room (one of the fabulous things about French doors!)<br />
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Today is forecast as being the hottest in this mini-heatwave. Something to be enjoyed!<br />
Have a good day, all, whatever your weather is like.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-83922926781823141592011-09-30T22:34:00.000+01:002011-09-30T22:34:07.867+01:00Autumn Leaves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/eGM40vcAcJg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
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I've loved Nat King Cole's style of singing since I was little, and heard Lazy Crazy Hazy Days on the radio, and one of his much-loved songs came to mind the other day as I swept up the windfall pears in the drive;<br />
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I've often thought that the falling leaves are like the tears of the tree, as it fades into its bare winter aspect; the job of fertility has been achieved for this year, the fruits gathered (or, as in my case, allowed to plummet!)....the tree has had a brief time of stardom while everyone admires its crop, but once harvested, it is yet again ignored...<br />
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Until the spring, when it will sprout forth new leaf buds; one of the first heralds of the new season. The pear tree at the back of my house was planted here by the previous owners, some time before I was born, so it has to be well over fifty years old. It was part of a garden orchard; nearly all of the other trees have gone, but we felt that the pear tree, hugely overgrown as it was, deserved to stay. The birds like it; squirrels use it as a handy escape route; my two cats enjoy flying up its huge trunk; my previous neighbour brewed the most potent pear wine from its fruit, and this year one of my workmates made chutney with the pears.<br />
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I'm glad it's still here.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-47113835607659881502011-09-25T21:58:00.002+01:002011-10-17T20:05:34.668+01:00Venting<div>There seems to be a lot of stuff around at the mo in respect of “cosmic ordering”....the way I understand this is, we visualise what we want in our lives, and lo and behold, it will manifest itself. Of course, I could have got this concept completely wrong; maybe someone will come along to put me right. [hey, should I visualise that happening?]</div><br />
<div></div><br />
<div>The implication seems to be that we get what we ask for....we get what we deserve, in a way. I don’t think I agree with this. I’ve had two major relationships in my life with, ultimately, unavailable men. The first became unavailable in the latter years of our marriage because he was pissed, for increasingly longer amounts of time. Until he became terminally unavailable.</div><br />
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<div>The second was unavailable due to stuff in his life that he didn’t want to lose. I feel that a heap of bricks and mortar and belongings are more important to him than I am. Which is fair enough...we all make our own choices in life, and I wasn’t his. But, did I ask to be second fiddle to a house, and a bottle? Did I deserve what I got? Maybe....and maybe not. I have my faults (yes, really!); I was by no means the perfect wife – but, did I really ask the Universe for all of this? Is the Universe slightly hard of hearing? Or does it employ the same warehouse staff as Next Directory? “Oh, sorry – you asked for an hygienic single man with own hair and teeth.....I do apologise, we’ll arrange a collection and re-delivery first thing tomorrow”.</div><br />
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<div>That’s the other thing I find rather odd...the amount of magazine articles and internet sites assuring you that you can easily Find Love – Find The Man Of Your Dreams. As if finding said man was like shopping – you pop down to the supermarket and they’re lined up on the shelves, row after row of identikit men all the same. On the shelf below you might find the Morrison’s Value range in yellow wrapping, less than a quarter of the price, but still all the same fundamentally. Has anyone ever pointed out to the writers of said articles that no, it doesn’t work like that? That the Man Of Your Dreams is going to be the one who’s unavailable, and none of the others will do? Or even come close? “Yes, I know, it walks and talks just like all the others – but it’s not HIM!” Incredibly shallow. The heart wants what the heart wants, and it won’t be fobbed off by just another pair of trousers. No - it really <em>doesn’t</em> work like that.</div><br />
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<div>There are Growing Up points in our lives....one of mine was when I realised that no, I wasn’t going to get the outcome I had hoped for. That yes, you’re on your own and you’re going to stay that way. That the man I truly love isn’t going to be mine. That life is really quite shit at times. I know that ranting is futile, but I can’t help feeling angry. Cheated. What happened to True Love that Lasts Forever? Yes – it lasts all right, but what use is it when the person you love is no longer around, and never likely to be? Where’s your bloody Cosmic Ordering then? Yeah – down the plughole, along with everything else.</div><br />
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<div>Maybe tomorrow will be better.</div><br />
<div>You never know......</div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-50810060914777578872011-08-26T14:26:00.002+01:002011-08-26T14:26:22.366+01:00Update<div>Blimey, it’s a long time since I’ve been in here! Last posted on 8th May....it’s now 26th August and life has gone on in the meantime.</div><br />
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<div>Work is going well – it’s the holidays at the moment, but when I go back I should get a new contract for my new hours (longer). I enjoy my job without having that horribly committed feeling.....by which I mean, that when I no longer enjoy it, I will look around for something else. But, so far, so good.</div><br />
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<div>Progress on Merry Towers has moved on since my last posting. My garden now has the grass path established, the arches at either end are in place, and the sides with trellising are nearly done. I’ve also got a price for replacing the fence, which will tidy the soil border up considerably, and will look a hell of a lot better than at present. Oh, and I’ve got someone coming to pave around the pond area later in the year. That will tidy up another vile looking place...it’ll look good when it’s done.</div><br />
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<div>There are also quite a few roses in now, some more due in November, all in all plenty of work there to keep me occupied. </div><br />
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<div>Loads has happened on the house itself. I’ve cleared and decorated my storage area under the stairs (I called it the Glory Hole until someone kindly pointed out the meaning of those two words!), fitted two bookcases, and now my stuff is better organised and I know where everything is. I keep my garden tools and various bits of DIY things in there, but eventually when I get a secure shed outside, the tools can go in there and I can keep my mop, brushes and bucket under the stairs.</div><br />
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<div>The door now closes properly thanks to Dave who shaved a bit off the bottom.</div><br />
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<div>I’ve refurbished an old plain pine cupboard which encloses the consumer unit and electricity meter. For such a utilitarian object, it looks good....stained a dark oak colour, with antique looking cast iron hinges and handles. Dave helped fit it. I’m pleased to bits with it especially after living with it as it was for....how long? Fifteen years? </div><br />
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<div>The room between the hall and kitchen now looks so much better due to new architrave and tiding up the last bit next to the tumble dryer. Thanks again due to Dave who finished the architrave off, painted it and also painted the cupboard round the central heating boiler. I am now left with a bit more painting and timping, removing the last bit of clutter, then it’s done.</div><br />
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<div>Sadly, Dave has decided that his priorities and commitments lie elsewhere. </div><br />
<div>I suppose that this means I am single....of course, I always was, but then.....I wasn’t, really.</div><br />
<div>His help and support have been wonderful and it is hard to look ahead without having him in my life.</div>Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-21865705668311006282011-05-08T15:50:00.000+01:002011-05-08T15:50:29.408+01:00Human BehaviourWhy do I always do this?<br />
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Put the immersion heater on to heat the water for a bath....leave it until it reaches scalding point.....then decide instead to have a shower?Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-76683460440420921712011-04-24T08:12:00.000+01:002011-04-24T08:12:56.989+01:00Easter SundayHappy Easter xxxx<br />
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A strange feeling I had this morning when I woke (although maybe not all that strange....) - I felt a strong sense of freedom. <br />
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I am free.<br />
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Free to make my own decisions in life; free to bear my own burdens; free to live the way I choose. No rules, no taboos, certainly no arguments about what I choose to do. Of course, the downside of this is that I don't have a committed partner to share life with, and that is sad, but neither do I have the petty restrictions that can be part of married life. Being single has its advantages.<br />
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Last night I started reading one of the forums on Truth About Deception....now, bearing in mind that the people posting on that forum obviously had marital problems to begin with (they were discussing the signs of infidelity), they were a fairly unhappy bunch. Page after page of the minutiae of their lives....was she doing this? Had he done that? I failed to get to the last page and was left with an overwhelming sense of Thank Goodness I Don't Have All That.<br />
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Apologies if this sounds smug and self-satisfied. Of course my life is far from perfect. And my freedom came at a heavy price....I don't forget that. But - having achieved that freedom - I thank God for it, and I do not take it for granted.<br />
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Jesus said, "I have come that you shall have life, and life in all its fullness". <br />
Alleluia - and, again, Happy Easter.<br />
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xxxxMerry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-80022847245532016522011-04-22T09:31:00.000+01:002011-04-22T09:31:43.685+01:00LifeI've had a great week. A good balance of days out and time at home with my animals, the weather has been fantastic. Monday the gardener came and took the "lawn" up, so I now have a large expanse of bare dusty soil, and a good idea of how it's going to look when done. <br />
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The AD's are having a beneficial effect and I feel much calmer these days, much less anxious, more at peace. Had a great day out yesterday chatting with friends and then off for a nice meal at the Fleece with Dave.<br />
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Life is not perfect - but I have good friends - one in particular has proved to be a truly great friend, she keeps me sane (you know who you are!) and I have a man who really loves me with all his heart and soul, despite all the difficulties.<br />
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Life is good. I count my blessings.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690452591245259288.post-56600175728160499002011-04-12T09:07:00.002+01:002011-04-12T09:07:59.361+01:00I Feel SickThassorl, really.Merry Cat Womanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01367707224678539658noreply@blogger.com0