Well.....this week seems to have been a turning point.
I’ve tackled my sleep routine – for a long time now I’ve gone to bed later and later, and as a result have been getting up later too. Not only that, but I’ve spent the morning sitting around in my husband’s dressing gown surfing the internet, and having breakfast at around 11am.....
My normal pattern is to get up about 8.30 and let the dog and cats out, while putting their food out.
I’ve changed this slightly. I wake up at 7 with the alarm, and get up shortly after; less than ten minutes to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed ready for work, I then see to the dog and cats. They don’t seem to mind the wait.
Trivial as this might sound, it’s made all the difference to my day. I now actually feel like doing things. Small things, I mean; cleaning, preparing tea (as in, my main meal of the day; round here it’s breakfast dinner and tea); getting laundry done dried AND put away...I’ve also improved my going to bed routine, and get a tray ready during the morning with tea bags, cup and soya milk ready for my last cuppa of the night (could have one in the morning, really....) I have a kettle in the bedroom...it’s little things like this that just make life that tiny bit easier, somehow....
The past couple of years have been all about making life easier. When I think back to how life was, it seems that we (that is, husband and I) did everything in the most labour-intensive way....we had a home filled with clutter and no storage space. We kept the coal in a coal-hole at the top of the garden, with a rough floor and a low wall three courses high at the front of it; not the easiest place to shovel coal out of. And not the most pleasant experience in winter. Yet this was how it was (we also fetched the coal ourselves in a trailer.....)
I now have a coal bunker outside the kitchen, and the coal man delivers too. It just makes life that bit easier.
Yes, ok, I probably get through a lot more coal, but what the hell.
That’s just one example.
The other is the kitchen. It was the thing that H and I were planning just before he died; we bought a sink and drainer in B&Q’s sale and were going to rip the old one out and put new cupboards in.
I’ve spent the past twenty odd years cooking in a hovel with damp mouldy wallpaper, two base cupboards, a dust-attractant plate rack, and a very large single glazed window.....finally, last October, I had a very nice man come and fit more cupboards than I will ever fill. Some are still empty. I now have a place for everything, I have surfaces I can easily keep clean, and just over two years ago I had the window replaced with a lovely double glazed one. And a new back door that really does keep draughts out.
Again....it just makes life a hell of a lot easier.
And today, I realised....even though I haven’t got everything I want in life – mainly the man I love – I am happy.
Maybe I’m finding the secret of contentment.
Maybe that secret is in being on top of chores; not feeling bogged down...and as a lovely lady pointed out to me about half an hour ago, finally being in control of my own situation.
I think she’s right.